So You Think You Want to Be a Tour Manager?
🎨 Artist Notes
Style: Southern gothic road grime with a punk zine twist. Influences from Frank Kozik’s burnout surrealism and Raymond Pettibon’s scrawled narrative tension. Van under streetlight, cords like entrails, road case wreckage—this ain’t a dream, it’s a breakdown with stickers.
🎤 Here’s the deal, kid
If you’re here for laminates and glory shots, turn around. This isn’t your movie montage moment—it’s the part where the wheels fall off and you’ve got five minutes to fix it with duct tape and spite.
📦 The Premise
Everyone loves the idea of the road—the sweat, the roar, the backstage haze. But tour managing? That’s not romance. That’s logistics with blood on it. You're the ghost in the machine, the one making sure the band makes it to the next gig with enough gas, gear, and grit to survive the set.
This post ain’t a pep talk—it’s a reality check. Let’s break down the myth and shine a light on the sleepless, thankless, beer-soaked truth of life behind the amps.
🚐 The Grind Behind the Glam
Load-ins before dawn. Load-outs when your bones don’t work. Arguing with club owners who’d stiff their own mother. You’re soaked in rain, noise, and that signature van funk—sweat, pizza, desperation, and spilled energy drinks. That’s your cologne now.
💀 You’re the Fixer and the Fireman
They sing the songs. You patch the holes—emotional, logistical, sometimes physical. You’re the guy who knows where the merch is, when the toll’s due, and how to use a Sharpie and paper towels to fix a broken pedalboard in Cleveland.
💡 The Real Secret
It’s a job. And some nights, it’s a beautiful, holy mess. Other nights, it’s folding t-shirts in a dive bar bathroom while the lead singer cries about his ex. If you’re too cool to sweep a stage or babysit a stoned drummer, this life will spit you out like gum on hot concrete.
⚡ Damone’s Moves
- 🔧 You’re the engine: The band plays the gig, but you are the gig.
- 🧠 Know everything, say little: Tour wisdom ain’t loud—it’s alert.
- ⚠️ The vibe is yours to keep alive: If morale dies, you’re next.
- 🎤 You manage chaos: No two nights are the same, and neither is the trouble.
- ⏰ It never ends: Sleep when you’re dead, or at least until the next load-in.
❌ The Attitude Rejects
- 🚫 “I’ll just hang out with the band and party.” Nah. You’ll be eating stale pretzels behind the merch table and arguing with a promoter over $12.
- 🚫 “It can’t be that hard.” Ever tried herding cats? Now set those cats on fire and put them in a van.
- 🚫 “I just wanna vibe.” Vibes don’t load the gear or fix the trailer hitch.
🎵 Soundtrack to This Post
🎵 “The Boys Are Back in Town” – Thin Lizzy
🎵 “Let There Be Rock” – Drive-By Truckers
🎵 “Pay to Cum” – Bad Brains
🎵 “Blockbuster Night Part 1” – Run the Jewels
🎵 “Can’t Hardly Wait” – The Replacements
🕯️ Damone’s Final Word
If you can’t handle losing sleep, getting yelled at, solving problems at 3 AM with nothing but zip ties and black coffee—stay home. But if you’re a logistics junkie with a bleeding heart for band dudes and broken amps? This job will break you and build you back stronger. Just don’t expect a thank-you note. Expect duct tape. Expect chaos. And maybe, if you’re lucky, a beer at the end of the night that actually tastes like victory.
Still tappin’ — Damone
👤 Tell Damone What You Think
Tour managed? Roadied? Got a story about a flat tire in Jersey and a crying bass player in Dayton? Hit the comments. Let’s hear your war stories.
📌 Filed Under
#TourLife #DamoneApproved #RockAndRollTruth #RoadCrew #MusicIndustryGrit #TheAttitudeBlog
